the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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