I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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