Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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