Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
