Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize