Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
