Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
