Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
