Your mouth is God's brothel.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
