I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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