I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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