he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
