He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Oh god it's open bar.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
