ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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