I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize