I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
