Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
