New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
