I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
