So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
