some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
