so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
