I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just found a bag of teeth...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
