You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
