I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
