Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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