Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
