Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
