i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
