All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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