You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
