so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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