just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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