We named our party play list daddy issues
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
