and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
