Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
