We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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