i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Text me some of your sweat
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