my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
