Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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