drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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