she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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