she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize