I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
