This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
