dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
