I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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