I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
