your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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