You really coming over, don't trick.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize