There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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