The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
