Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
