Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
