I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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