he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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