Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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