Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
