Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
