Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
