dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
