rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
