Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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