i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize