Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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