Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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