Pants 0. Shit 1.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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