upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
