Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
