Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she told me i tasted like america
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize